An Interview With Gio

What follows is an interview with the inimitable Gio, a Shih Tzu dog, in which he explains his own personal puppy theology.

TS: Gio, is that your full name?

G: No, it’s short for Giorgio, which is Gio on both ends with a “rrrruff!” in the middle.

TS: Where are you from?

G: A puppy farm in Pennsylvania.

TS: What was that like, being separated from your family at such a young and tender age?

G: I don’t really remember too much because I’m a dog, and we don’t really live in the past or the future. There’s only the bow-wow-now.

TS: In our past conversations you’ve told me that most dogs believe in a divine, supreme canine, the creator of all doggy life. Can you elucidate?

G: Yes, well, most dogs believe in the Great Dane, the source of our life and being, who is part of a trinity, including the Holy Woof and Lassie. I don’t where it all comes from, but I think it comes from our need to find meaning and purpose in our lives.

TS: Tell me more about Lassie.

G: He’s a prophet, the one who came to Earth, sent by the Great Dane, to live and show us all how to best walk on all fours.

TS: But some dogs take Lassie as the end all be all towards the path of salvation, right?

G: Yes, but I think it can get out of paw sometimes. Lassie was a being of love, but a lot of his more staunch followers would shake their paws at dogs like me in anger and violence. Their belief is inexorable.

TS: Do you believe in the Great Dane and the trinity?

G: I’m not sure. I have more questions than answers.

TS: Would you consider yourself an agnostic?

G: For canines the word is agdogstic. I don’t like labels, but if I had to give myself one I’d say, yes, I absolutely believe in the Great Dane with all kinds of doubts.

TS: Where does the Holy Woof fit into all this?

G: The Holy Woof is the universal bark that lives in all dogs. It expresses itself in different ways. My bark is different than a Chihuahua’s, but the woofs all come from the same source. It connects us.

TS: What about Lassie?

G: Well, I know he actually existed and lived his life in the service of others, especially to little Timmy, who was always getting into some kind of trouble, whether is was with a wild or misunderstood animal, getting lost, or falling down a well. Lassie was always there and Timmy was always given a little lecture on why he shouldn’t have done what he had done. Timmy’d be dead a hundred times over if it weren’t for Lassie, but there seems to be this canine cult that’s arisen since Lassie’s demise that one fateful day when he sacrificed himself for that busload full of school children, and I’m not so sure that’s a healthy means of belief.

TS: What do you mean?

G: Well, I can believe in Lassie, do my best to follow his example, love as much as I can and treat other dogs and humans with kindness and respect, but some dogs have barked at me most viciously when I questioned whether this is the only way to live a life of faith and belief in my connection to something beyond my own puppy self. I don’t think Lassie came here to become an idol of worship.

TS: Is there a canine belief in heaven?

G: It’s called the Great Puppy Hunting Ground where dogs get to chase cats and squirrels and actually catch them for once. There are also endless kibbles that rain down from the sky, fields of fire hydrants, and mailmen with sausages for legs.

TS: What about hell?

G: It’s called going to the vet.

TS: Do you believe in these concepts of an afterlife?

G: I don’t know and I think that’s the key point. I don’t not believe in them, but to me they’re not really important. All I have is now. If the Great Dane created puppies so that he could live through his creation, why would he send me to the vet if I doubted him or didn’t believe? Life for me is about questioning. The answers are less important than the discourse that can be engendered through the sometime almost insurmountable questions.

TS: Can you summarize your personal doggy philosophy for our readers?

G: Bark and let bark. Don’t judge. Take naps. Play. Ask questions and maybe one day you’ll find out that you’ve been living the answers all along the way.

TS: Anything else you’d like to say?

G: A milkbone in the paw is worth two in the box.

TS: Thank you, Gio.

G: Woof!